days like this

On days like this-- when it is bitter cold outside and the sky looks ominous and gray-- all I want to do is curl up and eat some soup.  So I did.  I had a really good bowl of torilla soup from the Creamery on 9th.  After that, I decided to look at pictures of really beautiful places and make myself sick with jealousy over the fact that I wasn't there at that very moment.  Here are some of the scapes I was living through.

And that's when I realized that wishing I was somewhere else would only bring me unhappiness.  Because fantasizing and romanticizing a foreign place isn't going to change anything.  So I got out of bed and went for a walk.  And you know what happened?  I found beauty in the place that I am at RIGHT NOW.  The present was made beautiful, just because I was looking for it.  Pretty cool.  

Nice people at BYU

I generally like to avoid describing someone as "nice."  It just doesn't really tell a whole lot about the person.  But I honestly can't think of another word that better represents the people at BYU.  They are so nice.  No one walks around on their phones, usually I am the only one doing that.  They make eye contact and smile and say hello.  I hear "sorry" and "thank you" echoing all over campus!  I've really had to step up my game.

Some of those nice people are my roommates.  Good memories: every night Kait and Sarah and I do our homework in Sarah and mine's room.  Kait always sits at the foot of my bed and we laugh until we cry or wet our pants...

This is what I go to sleep to every night.

And Felicity of course...

***

And this is what I get to wake up to.

Still don't know who wrote me that note-- but it made my day!  Notice my drinks of choice (not easy to come by, I have to trek far off campus.  But I'm loyal to my DC).

This is how Sarah casually sits.  All the time. 

Oh how I love these nice people!

This one's for my mom

This one is for my mom, because I'm pretty sure she's the only person who really cares about what every day looks like for me.

 look at those blank faces

The testing center... it even looks scary

My favorite building-- the Maeser building

 Just sleeping under a tree.  It's casual.

 Getting some self-defense lessons.  No big deal.  

My walk to and from campus every day

 Sometimes at night I feel like I am at Hogwarts

My favorite time of day... 7:00pm

The classic shoe pic.  Because you were all dying to know what I had on my feet.

The classic food pic.  Because I know that mom is curious about what I eat every day.

Life lessons learned in one day

Just kidding, it took more than one day to learn this life lesson.  It took 5 stress-filled days and nights... but that just didn't roll as well for a title.

Okay so I recently had to take a test for my calculus class.  This was a pretest on all past things pertaining to calculus, and in order to remain in the class, a 75% was required on the test.  As you can imagine, I was freaking out.  I do not do math.  I do not like math.  I avoid math.

Or so I thought...

I recently discovered that if you spin something that you don't like into a positive thing, you can trick yourself into thinking that you really do enjoy whatever it is you don't like.  And eventually, you will like that something that you originally hated.  You follow?

For example-- if I were to hate blood more than anything, and feel ill just at the thought of a paper cut, then I would have to spin the thought of blood into a not-so-bad thing (I use this as an example because it is a personal experience I once had.  More details to come).  Or even better, spin it into an appealing thing.  I would pull out all of the cool things about blood, drawing particularly on what it is that I find interesting.  The key word here is interesting.  This differs for everyone.  But for me, I would say that blood is a miracle, and a gift.  And that I am blessed to have healthy blood.  Moreover, I would stress the fact that this is a challenge for me.  And every challenge gives us an opportunity to grow and develop our weaknesses into strengths.  So, by learning to love blood, and understand it more fully, I am overcoming one of my weaknesses, and therefore building a strength out of a challenge.  Make sense?

I tell this, because this is what I learned to do with calculus.  I told myself that it is like a puzzle.  And I love puzzles.  I told myself that it is my ultimate puzzle to solve, and that if I practice, I will get better and build upon my weaknesses.  I told myself that if I would ask for help from tutors in the math center every day, that it would help me to stay humble and also show a willingness to learn.  I would be showing obedience by doing all that I could possibly do in order to prepare for the test.  And I would learn how to do hard things, because later in life I will not have the option to back out of certain difficult tasks.  So that's how I spun it.  And now I actually enjoy math.

And that's the story of how I grew to love math.

I know... you were on the edge of your seats.

But this is why it is so important.  This is the "so what who cares?" part of my babbling.  I have just conquered one of the greatest tasks in life.  Learning to love what you do, even what what you are doing isn't something that you love.  Fact is, most of life is not easy.  And much of life is not fun.  There are many mundane things that just have to be done, and there's no way around it.  No matter how long I stare at the pile of dirty laundry that is accumulating at the foot of my bed, and no matter how much I don't want to wake up tomorrow morning at 6:00 o'clock to go running, it still needs to be done.  Otherwise I will turn into a smelly and out of shape marshmallow with dirty clothes.  But if I spin it into something enjoyable, then life continues to be fun (although I currently can't think of any way to spin those two particular things at this moment).  This is what makes a positive person. 

Honestly, my one regret is that there are not more hours in the day for me to spend pouring over the great works that I am surrounded by.  When it comes night, I don't want to go to sleep, because I feel so invigorated by the things that I am working on.  This is so exciting.   

You're welcome.

A view from my park bench

So I have decided that although college is NOT my first adventure- it is my grandest by means of beauty and challenge.  

The other day I sat on a bench in a patch of grass in the center of campus.  It was a hot day and my feet were about ready to fall off.  Under the shade of a tree whose leaves were just beginning to turn for autumn, I sat and watched.  I watched scared people searching for classes, frantic people calling their families, alma maters reliving fleeting memories, and returning students reuniting with old friends.  

And the longer I sat, the larger the magnitude of Earth's population grew, until it far surpassed my previous scope of vision.  

Our world is so vast, and shared by people with completely different perspectives.  However, we all depend upon the same basic needs.  And although I had seen this in Cambodia- I guess you could say I re-realized this truth.  That a world exists outside of myself.  Who would have thought?  Apparently the high school mentality is becoming uprooted.  For a mind as small and inexperienced as my own, this is a milestone.  And I think that is what the greatest adventure in life is.  Realizing that it's not all about your comfort, your needs, or your wants.  It's about what you can do to help others.  And Earth is a perfect place to look for people who are in need of something.  Particularly on a college campus.  After all-- we are all just trying our best here.  

Adventure: a bold, usually risky undertaking; hazardous action of uncertain outcome.

Bring it on.  

And for the record:  if you ever need a cleared head, organized thoughts, freshened perspective, slower blood pressure, stronger confidence, or just have sore feet-- grab a park bench.  It's my go to form of therapy.  Plus it's perfect for people-watching (which always has a way of making your problems feel really small in comparison to everyone else's).  

And now a shot of my favorite movie, featuring a park bench.